A Reflection One Year Later

It's hard to believe that it has been just over a year since Robert and I came to Panama on vacation. At first, the idea of vacationing in Panama was less than thrilling-after all, wasn't it a third world country? We fell in love with what is now our home and now have a life here. We continue to build our life up in a place that once seemed exotic place, which we now proudly call our home.

Clouds which once added mystery are now a welcomed sign of welcomed weather

All of these pictures are from our vacation June 2014

The new locks which are now part of the latest canal expansion. A year changes a lot of things!

Panama has taught me a lot about myself and about the world. My outlook on life has changed.  Things that I felt were once black and white are now grey and no longer definite; likewise, the things I felt were grey have become a bit more polarized. I know changing views is part of growing, but I feel like this adventure has only enhanced that. I only hoped that Panama would give me a sliver of what it has given me.

I think about my life and where I am. Life is an adventure. I keep learning, reflecting, and learning more. Robert also helps a lot with this. We challenge each other in ways, including pushing each other intellectually. Life has its ups and downs, but there hasn't been a day I haven't regretted vacationing to Panama to discover how wonderful it is.

A Welcomed Homecoming

Another wonderful week, even though I am still using a tablet to work and be connected to the interwebs. As frustrating as it is, something wonderful happened this week! Robert who was gone for seven weeks came home last week!

Wait, what? Robert was gone? For obvious reasons, Robert's absence was on a need to know basis. He went to Arizona to work on getting his license for his powerchute. A post about this was previously done about what a powerchute is.

Robert's home coming took time getting used to. I was so used to doing everything myself: driving, walking the dogs, cleaning... I felt kind of bad when he first got home since I was used to having to do it myself including not having to worry if Robert wanted to join in. Despite that, Robert still has a honey do list with things that I could not do. Welcome home Sweetie!

This past week Robert has helped me realize that I am beginning to have a life here beyond just work. I have begun to attend yoga and Zumba classes. Robert joined me in teaching English at a non-profit. For the first time since we've moved down to Panama I feel like I am beginning to create some roots here, further more, we are creating roots. It feels like a long time coming, although I know five months is really nothing.

This week should be a good surfing week, which will be nice since I know Robert has been wanting to go. Life in Panama continues to be an adventure. Like all things, it has its ups and downs, but as I say at the end of almost every post, life down here is wonderful.

Technical Difficulties

What a week! I have been having technical difficulties like none other the past few days! My laptop stopped working so I had to send it to the US for repair in order to keep my warranty.

I am using a tablet to write my blog. Until I get my laptop back, my blogs will probably not have very many pictures on them. Sorry! My blogs will also be fairly short. Also, sorry!

After one very expensive, but helpful phone call, I was left with the cheapest option to send it back to the US for free repairs. Thank goodness I have a tablet and a keyboard (although the keys are very tiny). Most of my work is done on the computer!

No surfing lately-it has either been too windy or the swells have been small. The dogs are doing well. They expect their morning walk and avoid me the rest of the day if it doesn't happen.

I also volunteered again to help teach the English class. It is a nice opportunity to do something social-worky. Have you ever realized how "fits" and "fix" sound a lot like? I did not until it was discussed with one of the students and now I keep thinking about other words that sound similar also like dessert and desert. Ahh the simple things in life!

As a side note, I swore I posted this last week. Again, sorry. I owe some explaining, which I will do this Saturday. But here is the post that was supposed to be for June, 13, 2015....

Learning a New Field

Prior to moving to Panama, I had devoted the past 10 years of my life to chld development and human services/social work. Welcome to Panama, not only are experiencing culture shock by living in a new country, but you also get culture shock by changing careers. The sane "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" has never felt more personal.

Adjusting to customer service and business edict requires having to undo almost everything I have learned. For example, with social work, if I saw a client in a store my body language would change to be more formal. I would also never say hello first in order to protect client confidentiality; if the client approached me first, then it was okay. Facebook and social media relationships were heavily frowned upon and, at least in social work, should never happen (counselors and psychologist have different guidelines). Personal stories had to benefit the client therapeutically.

Business is opposite in almost every way I know. You establish good relationships by making the impossible, possible even if it is after hours. Robert gently reminds me what it means to be a business owner. I tell him that a customer wants to friend me on Facebook. That is okay? Really?  While I see the gentle reminders as being true all of this is very foreign and goes against pretty much what I have been taught for the past 10 years.

Being in business defiantly has its perks and in some ways I do not completely dislike it (for example, I do not miss working 60+ weeks). Business is just different. Where with social work, I considered it a sacred job. Owning a car rental business lends its own sense of pride: being a business owner.

There are no regrets moving to Panama. My life feels like it made a 180 in many ways. It can be lonely, frustrating, and confusing. Panama has been my home for 4.5 months and not a day has gone by where I haven't learned something. I am no stranger to adversity and jumping feet first in the water with the hope that I can just tread water. While some days are easier than others, I welcome the opportunity to continue my growth as a business person and an expat.

The Insecurities of Learning

A common theme lately has been about learning Spanish. Learning a new language is difficult and trying to convey what you want you really want to say is not always easy. Before I moved down here I got so frustrated with people learning to speak English. Their accent was heavy, their tenses were not correct, and they spoke agonizingly slow. My impatience probably did not help with any insecurities they had.

Now that we are living in Panama, the tables on me are turned. It is my turn to try to speak agonizingly slow, apologize for my lack of annunciation, and speak in the incorrect tense; if I didn't have speaking insecurities before, I do now. Speaking effectively and like an adult is hard.

I was able to volunteer teaching teens and adults English this week. The tables have yet again been turned! These students are advanced in the class, so for the most part they should have an idea of basic English. The teacher running the class paired me up with a person for an exercise. My partner's demeanor quickly changed and seemed self-conscious. Her English was far from perfect. It was a struggle for her. While she and I were practicing the lesson, I had nothing but empathy and respect for her.

Volunteering felt great. I am slowly learning to find appreciation in my current job, although I know my calling will always be social work. Being with people who are trying to learn a new language was a nice change of pace. I was able to see that my insecurities appear to be universal when learning a new language.

Adventures of Being a Vegetarian in Panama

Work has kept me on my toes and so has the language, which is nothing new. After almost four months of living in Panama I have realized how influential food is with every day life. It is something we often over look. Food is cultural. People frequently ask me what a typical Panamanian dish is. For the most part it is pretty simple: animal protein (chicken or fish), rice, and a starch (fried potatoes or plantains). This doesn't quite fit with me being a vegetarian.

People often ask me about my vegetarianism. I considered myself a fairly strict vegetarian which began because I stopped craving animal protein. I did not consume any animals (fish/shellfish included) originally. Throughout my 5 years of being vegetarian my diet has changed. I try not consume gelatin, mostly because of how it is made.  I have also been spending more time avoiding refined sugars while replacing them with unrefined sugars; note I did not say alternative sweeteners like Stevia. Within the past month eggs have also left much of my diet, but mostly because after all of these years, my mom was right, my tastebuds change! People who do not consume animal milk, eggs, honey, gelatin, and avoid common table sugar are vegans.

This past week I went to a restaurant that has a fantastic lunch special. You get soup, a drink, fried potatoes, rice, and a protien-all for $6! Prior to ordering I assumed I could probably have a vegetarian option. I was wrong and ordered fish as the other options were less appealing. This is becoming a common occurrence to where I eat fish once or twice a month.  Finding healthy/satisfying vegetarian food is not that easy in restaurants.

I have to admit, this lunch gave me a whole new experience about Panamanian food because of the rice side you see: pigeon peas with coconut rice. I never had it before this lunch but had seen it canned and in the hot food section of stores. Coconut rice is delicious and the pigeon peas offered a nice textural balance to the sweet aroma coming from the rice. I found a recipe to replicate soon.

Typical Panamanian Food

Despite the fish that I eat on occasion, I eat it when there are no other options. Yes, I acknowledge I could have eaten everything but the fish from the photo above, but then it would be a waste. Life isn't always clear cut and sometimes there are exceptions to rules and definitions, especially when they are your own. Being a vegetarian anywhere can have its obstacles-regardless of where you are. Life has its obstacles and my food choices in Panama are just one of them.

Spanish, Expats, and Rain.

This week for the most part was pretty uneventful. I worked, I went grocery shopping, and I've been working on my Spanish. I've been living a typical boring life!

Speaking Spanish is always very awkward. Speaking any new language is awkward and scary. I know my accent is bad. Every time I speak I feel like Brad Pitt in Inglorious Bastards. There is a scene where Brad Pitt, who has a Southern accent, has to pretend to be Italian in a scene in order to be undercover. It seems most people seem to understand my Spanish if I keep sentences short and very basic.

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Before moving down here, when I closed my eyes I often thought of an expat being White with horrible Spanish speaking accents...much like Brad from above. To my surprise, I was wrong. While there are a lot of Canadians in the area, I have also met my share of expats from South America (Venezuela, Argentina) and various countries from Asia. It makes sense now, but prior to the move I suppose I did not give it any thought. 

The surf has been awful this week. With that in mind, we had our first big rain storm of the season. The district in which we live gets the least amount of rain out of all of Panama. When it rains, it pours. Luckily the rain typically only lasts around 30 minutes. The rain is beautiful and it is calming. 

That's the week in a nutshell. Nothing super exhilarating to write about this week. This upcoming week I am hoping the surf gets better as I am craving some humiliation and relaxation; isn't that an oxymoron?